Weight Loss, Scales, and Record Keeping

I think that an accurate scale is important for reaching and maintaining weight loss.  This would seem obvious, but for many years, my husband and I used an old spring-type scale.  We liked that it didn't require batteries.  However, it became less accurate as the years went by, and showed me as approximately 7 pounds lighter than I actually was, and it showed my husband at 10 pounds lighter.  It seemed to work perfectly for the kids.  Also, being an analog scale, it did not give a precise weight. 

These qualities were a perfect combination for the denial that occurs when I gained weight.  Because I didn't have an exact weight to begin with, it was easy to pretend that I was never on the low side of 120 (according to that scale I was at one time), and thus I was not gaining weight.  It was easy to trick myself that I was just having a little water retention from  my period.  That five pounds would be gone when my period goes away, right?  In fact, I have learned that I am only an average of 1 pound heavier right before and during my period. 

Eventually, my husband and I grew tired of estimating our weight based on our crummy old scale.  I searched Amazon for a new one, and we argued about it a bit before we settled on the EatSmart Precision Digital Scale.  I didn't like it that it had so many reviews--it looked suspicious to me.  (EatSmart encourages its customers to leave reviews.)  Despite my misgivings, it has turned out be a nice scale with good battery life and seems to be very accurate.  It's easy to read the numbers, even in through early morning pre-coffee brain fog.  If this scale doesn't work out, I'd definitely get another digital. 

I began charting my weight at the end of October. I realized that I needed to lose about 7 pounds--I had probably gained about 10 from my lowest weight back in 2010.  In the past, just charting my weight has frequently been enough to get my habits under control.  Not this time.  I painfully charted a 7 pound weight loss.  I was recording weights irregularly (at least once a week on Sunday, but I'd also include the good ones from other days.)  I decided that this was silly and began only recording my Sunday weight (or a weight from the next available day if I would be away from the scale on Sunday). 

I still weigh myself frequently, but I only record once a week, EVEN IF i get a really good weight on another day.  At the end of the month, I calculate my monthly average weight.  This is extremely useful in spotting a pattern.  I know I could do this online too, but I kind of like just putting it into a little paper book. 

One thing I have learned over the years is that not weighing myself regularly is a huge red flag that I am deep in denial about my habits.  I also think that doing something about it before I hit 140 is a very good sign--in the past, I've had to reach over 160 pounds before I realized how out of shape I had gotten.  I think that's progress.  I think it's a sign that, despite my childhood in Fatland, Texas, combined with the media bombarding me with images of skeletal females, I finally have a  realistic idea about what a good weight for me, a very short female, should be. 

Couch to 5K: Day 1

Yesterday, I did day 1, week 1 of Couch to 5K, which means that for 20 minutes, I alternated between jogging for 60 seconds and walking for 90 seconds.  It was easy.  Still, it's hard to believe that back in November I completed a half marathon at a run/walk ratio of 2:3 minutes.  I stopped running completely in January when I had cold that I couldn't shake, which turned into a sinus infection, which resulted in me getting my first (nonpreventative) antibiotic prescription in nearly a decade.  Walking for 2 miles left me exhausted. 

I'm not sure if I'll attempt running this winter.  Instead, I may do Jillian Michaels DVD's instead.  I really struggle to run in the cold.  My children give me colds, and I also have a touch of asthma, which makes them worse.  When I get sick or am recovering and try to run in the winter, my pulse gets way too high, and I feel terrible.  I tend to have to take weeks off from vigorous exercise.  I guess this means that when I'm sick, I need to watch my portion and carb intake much better than I otherwise would.  If I can't exercise, probably giving up bread and carby snacks would be enough to carry me through until I can exercise again.  (Carbs, especially in the winter, seem to make it harder for me to control my appetite.) 

Anyway, so day 1 of C25K was a success.  I am thinking that I will do each week twice, whether or not it is challenging.  If it is challenging, I may repeat the week more.  I want to get to the point that I can run 30 minutes continuously before DST goes away.  Then I will attempt to run (intervals) with my Corgi in the mornings, when it's cool enough that I won't feel guilty for running him. 

I am seriously considering walking a half marathon this fall.  I, unfortunately, walked a half marathon I intended to walk/run back in April.  Doubly unfortunately, there was a walking division that I did not enter, so I came in dead last in my age group, since I was in the running division.  I started out at a great walking speed but was not able to maintain it!  By the end, I could barely move.  I definitely need to work on my speed walking. 

I am trying to keep the stress down on me, and I really don't feel up to pushing myself as far as running goes.  I'd prefer to do short runs and long and short walks.  I LOVE running.  I suck at it; it's hard for me, but I do love it.  I also think it's a lot easier on my skeletal system to run when I weigh less, so I think it will be good for me to prolong the C25K to until I am sure to weigh about 10 pounds less. 

I think I will do a 5K towards the end of the summer though, and run in it! 

Weekly Update: Good News

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I weighed in this morning.  I actually was dreading weighing myself and lay in bed for longer than I should have.  When I stepped on the scale, I was so relieved to see 135.4.  It's been a few months since I've seen anything that low.  I'm hoping that in June, I will at least get back to the numbers that  started recording my weight at last year!  My lowest recorded weight was 132.2 back in November. 

I'm also very pleased that I do seem to be able to lose weight without going drastically low carb or doing a drastic increase in exercise.  I've been mostly walking the dog for exercise and practicing portion control.  While I'm not doing low carb, I have been very careful about sugary deserts.  We've had cookies a couple of times, and I've been able to eat them in moderation.  If I get a fancy coffee drink, I can ask for the low sugar syrup, and I think this is very helpful.  I still get my treat without the effects to my blood sugar. 

Activity, calorie intake, and carb intake are all equally important, in my opinion, to my weight loss.  

I am going to start Couch to 5K today, probably in a few minutes.  The Couch to 5K program will probably keep my busy all summer.  I'm going to try using a podcast, rather than a digital watch, to keep me on track.  This partly because I think it will be a fun change, and it is also because I have lost my digital watch. I'll also be wearing Spiderman sunglasses, because all the pairs I bought for myself at the Dollar Tree are lost, and I pathetically have to borrow my son's pair. 

Hopefully, I will see the 134's next week! 

A Setback

I didn't update with my weight last week, and I haven't really weighed all week.  Last Sunday, I weighed in at 137.2.  I was kind of bummed out about it.  I was probably retaining some water.  I had lifted weights, and my period was starting, so it could have been just water.  I haven't exercised well this week, and my eating has been fair, with some snacking problems.  I am feeling very full after my meals, which is good.

I always have problems right before and during my period.  I get extremely sleepy for about a week.
If I don't get extra sleep at night, I will have to lie down one evening and take a nap, where I sleep very heavily.  I don't have bad cramps or migraines, certainly nothing a little naproxen or ibuprofen couldn't handle.

I need something new for next week.  I was thinking about doing a Jillian Michaels video every day, but I think I'll start up with Couch to 5K.  I stopped running over the winter, due to constant colds and the worst sinus infection of my life.  I think I ought to save videos for the winter evenings when it gets dark depressingly early (around 4:30 here), and enjoy the outdoors while I can, even though it will be painfully hot.  Since I need to walk the (damn) dog every morning, and I don't want to try and run with him in the heat, I'll have to go when my husband gets home from work.

Oh, well, it will be okay.  I'm nervous to see what I weigh tomorrow, but whatever it is, I'll deal with it.  At least my pants and shorts fit again, even if they are a tad snug.  Maybe in a month they'll be comfortably loose. 

Choosing a Goal Weight

Choosing a goal weight has been a very tricky task for me, partly because my perspective has changed so much as I've lost weight.  When I was at my fattest, I would have given anything to be a size 12, and an 8 seemed like the most could ever hope for.  But being as short as I am, I learned that a size 4 is a very reasonable goal, and that if I were extremely careful about what I ate and how much I exercised, I could probably get to be a size 0 or 2 and still be healthy.  At this point, I would be quite upset if I were to go up to size 8 again. 

My goal weight of 125 pounds will put me comfortably in a size 4.  In many stores, I will be wearing the smallest size in adult women or "misses" clothing.  But I will still have a bit of a belly and a fair bit of meat on my thighs and bottom. 

I felt like I was putting too much pressure on myself when I decided to go below 125.  At 125, my blood pressure was very good, I felt good, I looked good.  However, I did not look women on TV are supposed to look, and I decided to get a little thinner.  I think I set myself up for failure by not setting a goal that allowed me enough leeway with eating and exercise.  My life is extremely full.  It is sometimes stressful.  I have many hobbies that I love.  I get sick frequently in the winter due to my children giving me cold after cold. 

I only have so much time to devote to exercising, and I do love to eat.  Therefore, I'm maknig a decision not to lose those "last 10-15 pounds" that I could lose and still have periods and still have healthy bones. 

I also think a lot about intuitive eating.  One older book that describes this process is called Diets Still Don't Work by Bob Schwartz.  He describes how to really pay attention to what you want to eat and how full you are, and by doing this, you can acheive a good weight for you without counting calories. 

This worked very well for me 2 years ago, and it's working for me now.  I still think it's good to know how many calories are in certain foods and beverages, especially those that can cause you to lose touch with your sense of fullness (things that are high in sugar).  Most margaritas contain as much calories as I might need to eat in my evening meal!  But they won't necessarily make me feel full.  And I can easily ignore my sense of fulness while eating a 500-calorie slice of cheesecake. 

However, eating slowly, savoring each bite of food, paying attention to when my stomach says, "enough!" is very helpful.  When I practice that, I start to feel full very quickly, and I feel full for many hours each day.  When I'm ignoring my stomach, I hardly ever feel full, even after eating a large meal.  Some people reach their goal weight without worrying about the scale, simply by practicing this conscious/intuitive eating.  I think that the scale is important for me in making sure that I'm not tricking myself into thinking I'm not overeating when I actually am. 

Sunday Weigh In and Weekly update

I record my weight every Sunday.  I record after I first wake up.  I use the bathroom and remove my clothes, and then what I get is what I write.  Although I do weigh myself on other days, I don't record those weights.  If I can't weigh in on Sunday, I record my Saturday weight, or the next day after Sunday that I'm near my scale.  At the end of the month, I average my weights.

Today, I weighed in at 136 pounds.  I am very happy with this, as I haven't gotten a weight this low since February!  It means I have only 11 pounds to go before I reach my goal. 

The sad thing is that since I started tracking my weight back at the end of October, I was weighing in in the 132's and 133's.  At that time, I was a little discouraged that I needed to lose 7-8 pounds.  I'm trying not to beat myself up about it.  If I hadn't started recording my weight, I'd probably weigh even more now.

Anyway, this round is for life, not for looking good in a bathing suit this summer (although that would be a nice benefit.)  I also have to remind myself that for much of my adult life, I would have been THRILLED to be down to this weight.  In fact, 135 was my original weightloss goal back in 2003. 

I am trying to find a balance between feeling good about how far I've come yet motivated to continue.

Snacking

I'm doing pretty well on diet and exercise except for one thing: snacking, especially afternoon snacking.  I do like to have a snack in the middle of the afternoon, and I think it's good for me to pick up 100-200 calories (300 maximum!) at that time.  That way I can make it until dinner without feeling too hungry. 

But, being an at-home mom, with easy access to my fridge and pantry, I tend to snack a little too much.  Sometimes I graze, and those calories add up.  Other times I will actually have two snacks, one at 2 and one at 4.  (This is really not okay!)  If I can just make it until 3, then I can have a reasonable snack and not bee too hungry.  But if I start at 2, I will surely be hungry again by 4, and then I'll eat again at dinner. 

I'm not doing horribly, just eating too much to lose weight.  I can't create a calorie deficit by grazing. 

I try to remind myself daily that not gaining is a victory in itself, that being approximately 35 pounds below my maximum weight is a victory in itself. 

Sleep: I Need It

I've never been a good sleeper.  I love to stay up late and sleep late.  If I have to get up early, I've always liked to have a nap in the middle of the day.  This worked well at certain times in my life.  As a homeschooling mom, however, I don't have much time for naps.  My children are too young for me to really feel comfortable shutting the door to my room and having a real nap.  The best I get is a light doze in the living room, where I can hear them playing and know if they open the front or back doors.

I went on vacation with my husband.  We had a cabin with east-facing windows (no curtain) that streamed bright light into our bed early every morning.  We hiked all day.  We went to bed early.  I felt awesome.

I came home and didn't want to go back to my old schedule of staying up late every night, dragging myself out of bed each morning, and dragging myself around all day, drinking coffee and diet soda continuously.

So, I haven't.  After the children go to bed, I get in bed with my Kindle, and I'm asleep before 11 PM.  I realize that isn't early to some people, but it sure is to me.  And then I get out of bed at around 7.  I  find I'm needing to set my alarm for 6:45 to do this because I just don't wake up well.  (Probably may be an ADHD-type thing.)

The word on sleep deprivation and metabolism is pretty bleak.  I've been reading about it for years.  So what if I leave emails unanswered or chores undone?  It'll be a lot easier to do anything the next day if I get enough sleep.  Also, chores can be caught up on, but sleep is extremely difficult to catch up on.

I've been feeling that my sleep deprivation has been holding me back, as I've really struggled to see any changes on the scale these past few months, despite modest eating and exercise changes.  I know I've built up muscle, and my clothes fit better, but it hasn't translated into any weight loss.  I did see a slight loss about a pound, coming back from vacation, which I think was due to lack of stress, increased exercise, and better sleep.  I ate plenty, including dessert (homemade cookies or brownies and S'more's trail mix!) twice a day. 

Anyway, there is no other way that I know of to help myself lose weight while remaining completely imobile, other than getting enough sleep.

My Story

I was always a little bit chubby when I was a kid and very self-conscious about it.  When I turned about 15, I slimmed out.  I tried not to eat too much, and I walked a lot, as in 1-2 hours a day.  That was in 1990's, when everyone was into "low fat," which left me so hungry.  I wish I'd known that "low sugar" and "low calorie" would be more helpful for me in staying healthy, especially considering my family's propensity to diabetes.  I also wish I had found a more vigorous exercise at that time. 

Anyway, I went to college and married young, and I don't know how to put it.  I just ate everything I wanted, especially salty snacks, sweets, and restauraunt food.  Fast forward a few years, and both my husband (T.) and I were obese by the time we graduated high school. 

T. lost a fair bit of weight doing Dr. Weil's diet and the elliptical, although he was still overweight, but he felt hungry all the time.  I couldn't stand the Weil diet and just stayed fat.  Then we went on vacation, and I couldn't stand any of the pictures of myself.  Who was that fat girl?  And if I was that fat before kids, what would happen after I had kids?  I had a pretty good idea.  At my highest weigh, I believe I was about 175 pounds.  At 5 feet tall.  I'm not entirely sure of my highest weight because I didn't weigh much, and I practiced a lot of denial.  I could not climb the hill near our apartment without resting.

I read about the Atkins Diet and decided I might as well try it.  My husband I laughed about it and went out and bought lots of meat for me.  The first day was horrible.  I was an emotional wreck, but eventually I balanced out, and felt great.  I lost weight rapidly, going down to about 150 pounds, and then the weight loss slowed.  Still, I felt so much better.  My only exercise continued to be walking.  T. started Atkins about a week after I did. 

Surprisingly, I found out I was pregnant soon after, so while I tried to stay healthy, I stopped trying to lose weight immediately and ate more fruit and whole grains.  I had some health complications during pregnancy, preeclampsia and gestational diabetes, both indicators that is especially important for me to try and maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle.  Thankfully, my son was born healthy, although early.  I'm at high risk for heart disease and diabetes later in life. 

I was pretty happy with my weight after having my first son.  I breastfed him, which helped immensely with my weight loss.  I got to about 145 pounds, maybe 140 at one time (our old scale was not too accurate).  Although still overweight, I had much greater mobility than when I was fatter and looked more attractive.

Meanwhile, T. was thin and looking great, due to low carb, running, and weight lifting.  I was doing some strength training, had started running intervals, and was continuing low carb as well.

I had another son and an easier pregnancy.  Again, I had gestational diabetes, well controlled by diet, and my second son was full term.  The baby weight came off pretty easily again with breastfeeding, and I was comfortably about 145 pounds.  However, I ran into big trouble when he was weaning because I was used to needing so many more calories. 

My weight shot up to 160-165(?) pounds--I can't remember exactly.  I was so upset with myself.  I had been in huge denial about how I big I was getting and had only been weighed because my toddler refused to stand on the scale.  I had to stand on the scale holding him, and then have my weight subtracted from his.  Thanks a lot, buddy. 

Over the next few months, I did low carb, weight training, and cardio.  When I really focused on counting calories and portion control, and paying close attention to my body's signals of fullness, the weight dropped off of me fast.  I went right past my original goal of 135 pounds to 120-125 pounds (or so?).  

The only trouble is maintaining that.  I overeat when I'm stressed or bored.  I eat until my stomach hurts sometimes.  And I don't exercise enough.  Especially in the winter, my kids get colds, and I get colds, and I can't work out.  After this winter, I got up to 139 pounds.  I am now at 137 pounds.

My goal is 125 pounds, very reasonable for my short muscular body.  I am about a size 4 at that weight.  I know it is hard, and I know I won't be able to get there and maintain it without paying close attention to my eating and exercise.  I don't believe in going hungry or starving or depriving myself.  I believe in taking care of myself.  I have walked/run 4 half marathons.  Everytime I do, I think about the girl who couldn't walk up the hill near her house without resting. 

I am very, very proud of the fact, that except at the end of my pregnancies, I never got up to my highest weight.  It's been about 8 years.  So, I suppose I've sort of yo-yo'd, but the fluctuation has progressively gotten smaller rather than larger, and my average weight lower.  This is probably because I have never sharply restricted my calories.  I have never, ever starved myself.  I have restricted carbs severely in the past but don't do that anymore because it's not sustainable for me personally.  I do watch carbs moderately and restrict sugary foods.  

Thanks for reading my blog!  I'll be posting about my eating, exercise, and weight loss (I hope) and then take maintenance very seriously.