An Update

Well, I forgot to weigh in this morning.  I have been doing so-so lately on eating, although it's been getting a little better.  I have started Jillian Michaels' Ripped in 30, and I'm liking it a lot so far.  I did the first 2 workouts in 30-day Shred so many times I was sick of them, but it's a great video, and I think Ripped in 30 is even better.  I think 30-day-Shred was really effective for my weight loss, so I'm hoping that Ripped in 30 will be also good for my weight maintenance/loss. 

I never did 30-day-Shred more than 2-3 times a week.  My goal for Ripped in 30 is to work up to doing each level 5 days in a row (with 2 rest days), to see what kind of results I get.  Last week was my first week, and, due to extreme soreness, I was only able to do it 3 times.  This week, I'm hopeful I'll be able to do it 4-5 times. 

Jillian workouts are great for my shoulders.  When I do my strength training exercises sans video, I do a lot more shoulder work now because of her videos.  They also work my legs, something I tend to ignore when I'm doing workouts on my own.  My legs are muscular enough just from walking that I tend to neglect those little muscles that don't get worked in my daily life.  Her videos also provide much needed ab work and reminders about form that I tend to forget about when doing ab work on my own. 

I also like her videos because her models are so very ripped.  It tends to make me think in a more positive way about making my body stronger and my muscles more defined, rather than trying to get tiny looking.  

I'm hoping that with the help of Jillian I'll emerge from the cold weather months more toned than before! 

Weigh-in

Well, I am down to 131.8, which is, I believe my 2nd lowest weight since I started recording them a year ago.  Weird.  It's been like 3 weeks since I've done my strength training.  I haven't been running or doing any intense cardio, just walking and exercise bike.  I have been fairly consistent, haven't had much sweets, have been trying to watch my snacking.  I eat too many dry cheerios, but I guess they are low enough in calories that they don't have that much effect.

We got back from Disney on Sunday, after 8 days there.  I was sure I would gain 5 pounds, eating so much restaurant food (and desserts!)  I guess all the miles and miles of walking cancelled it out.  And I never ate a whole dessert--I always got a shared one.  I wish I had time to do that kind of walking on a daily basis.

I guess with my new goal, I'm only 2.8 pounds away!  That actually feels really good.  

Sometimes the truth hurts...

I weighed in at 134.2 today.  Must do better next week. 

Coping with Stress, Changing my Goal

I took a break from blogging for a while.  I got down to about 131 pounds then crept back up to 134 and am somewhere in between.  (We'll see what I weigh in at tomorrow.) Last Sunday, I weighed in at 134. 

I had a really difficult few weeks where I let stress get the better of me, and I was not eating well.  I got worked up about our homeschool year starting and kept staying up late, looking for ideas on the Internet, ordering books, etc.  I would stay up until 2 AM but still have to get up at 7 or 8, which isn't enough for me.  When I don't get enough sleep, I get really hungry, have less self-control, and start mindlessly snacking.

I kept thinking to myself, I canNOT let myself go just because I get stressed out.  And then I realized that that is just never going to happen.  I have to deal with the stress in a better way, so that it doesn't mess up my sleeping and eating.  I'm working on it.

I also realized that losing these 5 pounds has been such a struggle that I decided to set my goal weight at 129.  If I get up to 130, I will work on losing weight.  If, over the course of praticing portion control and exercising, I get below 129, I certainly will not try to gain back the weight, but I think 129 is a better goal for me that 125.  I don't care that much if the size 4 jeans never fit me again, and I'm tired of stressing myself out about it. 

Here is the plan I've made up for myself:

1)  Use healthy ways to deal with stress (making to-do lists, walking, running, yoga, gardening), so that I minimize sleep loss and mindless eating. 
2)  Get enough sleep.  Go to bed, not to computer, when sleepy.
3)  Practice portion control.  Stop eating when full.  Eat five times a day (3 meals, 2 snacks) and no more.
4)  Exercise every day.  Get cardio (even if it's just walking) 5 times a week for at least 30 minutes and strength training 2 times a week. 
5)  When I realize I've fallen off the eating-exercise wagon, get right back on. 

I think those are do-able rules that will keep me healthy and lean. 

Weekly Weigh-in

I did actually weigh in on Sunday, but I've just been too busy to post.  I was shocked to see the scale move down to 132.6.  I don't know if I'll get a number that good on Sunday.  My eating has not been wonderful this week, although not terrible.  I did have an anniversary dinner where I drank two glasses of wine.  I've also had a few treats.  My exercise has been consistent but not outstanding.  So,  we'll see.

Getting so close to the 120's again is honestly making me a little nervous.  I'm afraid of screwing up so close to my goal.  The silly thing is that I'm pretty much back where I started in October, when I originally wanted to lose about 7 pounds.  And then I gained 7, the first time I've ever gained while weighing regularly.  So painful. 

But I figure it was BECAUSE I weighed regularly that I stopped gaining and then started losing.  In the past, I've gone into much deeper denial regarding my weight, and then I end up in a real mess. 

I need to be a little more positive with myself about finishing this.  Maybe I also just need to focus on getting to 129 and then do some re-evaluating.  Maybe I'll want to stay there.  Maybe I'll want to go a step farther.  Either way, it's fine. 

Weight Loss and Bra Size

Well, weight loss has not been foremost on my mind this week, although I did get some good exercise in and have been doing pretty well on my eating.  But I've been thinking about other things.  Thus, I forgot to weigh myself first thing in the morning on Sunday and then on Monday.  So, I took Tuesday's weight, which turned out to be pretty good at 134.0. 

I'm about 5 pounds down from where I got up to, and, ironically, pretty much where I was when I started charting my weight.  I'm very happy to be back here, and truth be told, I think I could be happy at this weight.  My clothes all fit, except for 2 pairs of pants.  I do think that a few more pounds would be good, so I'll keep trying. 

I am now running into the problem that my bras no longer fit.  I have gone down a band size.  I have 4 wire-free Warner's bras, size 34B, and they fit nicely until now.  They are now too big.  I am now a 32 B, or possibly even 32C, which means I'm a lot more limited in what brands make my size.  I also need padding or my nipples show through. 

I hate bras, and it makes me mad that I now have to find a new brand.  What I decided to do in the meantime is to order a couple of less structured bras and some silicone nipple covers and see if that solves my problem.  Then, when I'm at my goal, I might think about figuring out exactly what size I am.  Or if I like the less structured ones, I may just stick with that. 

I've read that a woman's bra size can change constantly.  Even 5 pounds can change the breast or cup size.  It's just terribly annoying because bras are expensive, and a badly fitting bra is extremely uncomfortable. 

I am happy about my continued weight loss.  But it is making me nervous because I do like this size, and I do want to maintain it, and I'm afraid I'll go back to my old habits of eating out of boredom.  I think I just need to take it one day at a time, worry about the present and not the future.  If only it were easier to take my own advice. 

4 Weight Loss Memoirs

Over the past several days, I have read 4 weight loss memoirs, and I think I'm ready to read something different now.  I tend to go through nonfiction like that and devour several books on one topic that I'm really interested in.  I decided to review them here.  All of the books made me feel like a weight loss amateur, being only 50 ponuds overweight at my biggest. 

The first one I read was Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir by Jeanette Fulda.  She lost half her weight in a fairly short amount of time, and she writes about the changes she made to her life, how her life changed, and how it didn't change.  Of all the memoirs reviewed here, hers is the funniest and most irreverent.  As she loses  weight, her self-consciousness fades.  She attributes it to the weight loss, and perhaps it wouldn't have happened without the weight loss, but I think a lot of her story is something that many people in their twenties can relate to as they grow up, gain some perspective, and grow more comfortable with themselves. 

As soon as I finished the book, I went online to google Jeanette to see how she is doing today.  She has a blog.  I learned that she has gained some of her weight back due to depression and chronic pain resulting from a headache that won't go away.  She has written a book about that as well.  My hope for her is that her pain goes away one day.  Half-Assed is funny and inspiring. 

I then read Battle Scars: My Journey from Obesity to Health and Happiness, Fifteen Years and Counting! by Stephen Cremen.  I found this one to be particularly compelling because Stephen has kept most of his weight off for such a long period of time.  Of the four I read, Stephen writes the most about emotional issues relating to his weight, and I think that his introspection is probably one the major keys to his success.  His coming out as a gay man and how keeping that part of himself secret contributed to his eating issues is an interesting part of his story as well.  It was a very enjoyable read and possibly the most inspirational of the four I read, simply because he's managed to be successful for so long.  At the time I bought the book, it was only $1.99 on Kindle--a great bargain! 

After that, I read 703: How I Lost More than a Quarter Ton and Gained a Life by Nancy Makin.  This was the strangest of all four memiors.  Nancy had a childhood that was complicated by a stay in a horriffic Canadian cult.  She became pregnant as a teenager, married the young man, and had a baby at the young age of 16.  Her relationship with her controlling mother was troubled.  She reached the massive weight of 703 pounds (at least) and was completely homebound, waiting to die.  She is vague on exactly how she managed to become that large.  Her method of weight loss was equally vague.  From what I could figure out, she had been eating enormous amounts of calories constantly, and after getting a computer with Internet, she forgot to eat as much.  Her book was the most painful to read--the other books I read were about young people with much more ordinary lives.  After googling her, I found pictures of a strikingly pretty woman, but I could find nothing recent.  I hope that she continues to lead a healthy lifestyle. 

This evening, I finished reading The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl by Shauna Reid.  Of all the books, I enjoyed this one the most, and I could relate to Shauna the most.  She lost half of her body weight as a young woman, like Jeanette Fulda.  She took six years to do so and made peace with her weight about 10 pounds above her original goal.  Also like Jeanette, Shauna's book grew out of her blog.  The book spans about six years of weight loss, begins in Australia, ends in Scotland, and includes a romance.  Shauna grows up a lot as the book progresses.  To me, this one was the most novel-like of all of the memoirs.  I highly recommend it.  Shauna has struggled with a bout of depression and weight gain, and I wish her the best as she takes control of her life again and works on becoming more athletic and eating in a healthy way. 

I think all of these books are worth reading if you're looking for weight loss inspiration, but Battle Scars and The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl are the most worth reading, in my opinion.