My Story

I was always a little bit chubby when I was a kid and very self-conscious about it.  When I turned about 15, I slimmed out.  I tried not to eat too much, and I walked a lot, as in 1-2 hours a day.  That was in 1990's, when everyone was into "low fat," which left me so hungry.  I wish I'd known that "low sugar" and "low calorie" would be more helpful for me in staying healthy, especially considering my family's propensity to diabetes.  I also wish I had found a more vigorous exercise at that time. 

Anyway, I went to college and married young, and I don't know how to put it.  I just ate everything I wanted, especially salty snacks, sweets, and restauraunt food.  Fast forward a few years, and both my husband (T.) and I were obese by the time we graduated high school. 

T. lost a fair bit of weight doing Dr. Weil's diet and the elliptical, although he was still overweight, but he felt hungry all the time.  I couldn't stand the Weil diet and just stayed fat.  Then we went on vacation, and I couldn't stand any of the pictures of myself.  Who was that fat girl?  And if I was that fat before kids, what would happen after I had kids?  I had a pretty good idea.  At my highest weigh, I believe I was about 175 pounds.  At 5 feet tall.  I'm not entirely sure of my highest weight because I didn't weigh much, and I practiced a lot of denial.  I could not climb the hill near our apartment without resting.

I read about the Atkins Diet and decided I might as well try it.  My husband I laughed about it and went out and bought lots of meat for me.  The first day was horrible.  I was an emotional wreck, but eventually I balanced out, and felt great.  I lost weight rapidly, going down to about 150 pounds, and then the weight loss slowed.  Still, I felt so much better.  My only exercise continued to be walking.  T. started Atkins about a week after I did. 

Surprisingly, I found out I was pregnant soon after, so while I tried to stay healthy, I stopped trying to lose weight immediately and ate more fruit and whole grains.  I had some health complications during pregnancy, preeclampsia and gestational diabetes, both indicators that is especially important for me to try and maintain a healthy weight and lifestyle.  Thankfully, my son was born healthy, although early.  I'm at high risk for heart disease and diabetes later in life. 

I was pretty happy with my weight after having my first son.  I breastfed him, which helped immensely with my weight loss.  I got to about 145 pounds, maybe 140 at one time (our old scale was not too accurate).  Although still overweight, I had much greater mobility than when I was fatter and looked more attractive.

Meanwhile, T. was thin and looking great, due to low carb, running, and weight lifting.  I was doing some strength training, had started running intervals, and was continuing low carb as well.

I had another son and an easier pregnancy.  Again, I had gestational diabetes, well controlled by diet, and my second son was full term.  The baby weight came off pretty easily again with breastfeeding, and I was comfortably about 145 pounds.  However, I ran into big trouble when he was weaning because I was used to needing so many more calories. 

My weight shot up to 160-165(?) pounds--I can't remember exactly.  I was so upset with myself.  I had been in huge denial about how I big I was getting and had only been weighed because my toddler refused to stand on the scale.  I had to stand on the scale holding him, and then have my weight subtracted from his.  Thanks a lot, buddy. 

Over the next few months, I did low carb, weight training, and cardio.  When I really focused on counting calories and portion control, and paying close attention to my body's signals of fullness, the weight dropped off of me fast.  I went right past my original goal of 135 pounds to 120-125 pounds (or so?).  

The only trouble is maintaining that.  I overeat when I'm stressed or bored.  I eat until my stomach hurts sometimes.  And I don't exercise enough.  Especially in the winter, my kids get colds, and I get colds, and I can't work out.  After this winter, I got up to 139 pounds.  I am now at 137 pounds.

My goal is 125 pounds, very reasonable for my short muscular body.  I am about a size 4 at that weight.  I know it is hard, and I know I won't be able to get there and maintain it without paying close attention to my eating and exercise.  I don't believe in going hungry or starving or depriving myself.  I believe in taking care of myself.  I have walked/run 4 half marathons.  Everytime I do, I think about the girl who couldn't walk up the hill near her house without resting. 

I am very, very proud of the fact, that except at the end of my pregnancies, I never got up to my highest weight.  It's been about 8 years.  So, I suppose I've sort of yo-yo'd, but the fluctuation has progressively gotten smaller rather than larger, and my average weight lower.  This is probably because I have never sharply restricted my calories.  I have never, ever starved myself.  I have restricted carbs severely in the past but don't do that anymore because it's not sustainable for me personally.  I do watch carbs moderately and restrict sugary foods.  

Thanks for reading my blog!  I'll be posting about my eating, exercise, and weight loss (I hope) and then take maintenance very seriously.