Losing the Last 14 (One More Time)

Friday, July 27, 2012

Weight Loss and Bra Size

Well, weight loss has not been foremost on my mind this week, although I did get some good exercise in and have been doing pretty well on my eating.  But I've been thinking about other things.  Thus, I forgot to weigh myself first thing in the morning on Sunday and then on Monday.  So, I took Tuesday's weight, which turned out to be pretty good at 134.0. 

I'm about 5 pounds down from where I got up to, and, ironically, pretty much where I was when I started charting my weight.  I'm very happy to be back here, and truth be told, I think I could be happy at this weight.  My clothes all fit, except for 2 pairs of pants.  I do think that a few more pounds would be good, so I'll keep trying. 

I am now running into the problem that my bras no longer fit.  I have gone down a band size.  I have 4 wire-free Warner's bras, size 34B, and they fit nicely until now.  They are now too big.  I am now a 32 B, or possibly even 32C, which means I'm a lot more limited in what brands make my size.  I also need padding or my nipples show through. 

I hate bras, and it makes me mad that I now have to find a new brand.  What I decided to do in the meantime is to order a couple of less structured bras and some silicone nipple covers and see if that solves my problem.  Then, when I'm at my goal, I might think about figuring out exactly what size I am.  Or if I like the less structured ones, I may just stick with that. 

I've read that a woman's bra size can change constantly.  Even 5 pounds can change the breast or cup size.  It's just terribly annoying because bras are expensive, and a badly fitting bra is extremely uncomfortable. 

I am happy about my continued weight loss.  But it is making me nervous because I do like this size, and I do want to maintain it, and I'm afraid I'll go back to my old habits of eating out of boredom.  I think I just need to take it one day at a time, worry about the present and not the future.  If only it were easier to take my own advice. 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

4 Weight Loss Memoirs

Over the past several days, I have read 4 weight loss memoirs, and I think I'm ready to read something different now.  I tend to go through nonfiction like that and devour several books on one topic that I'm really interested in.  I decided to review them here.  All of the books made me feel like a weight loss amateur, being only 50 ponuds overweight at my biggest. 

The first one I read was Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir by Jeanette Fulda.  She lost half her weight in a fairly short amount of time, and she writes about the changes she made to her life, how her life changed, and how it didn't change.  Of all the memoirs reviewed here, hers is the funniest and most irreverent.  As she loses  weight, her self-consciousness fades.  She attributes it to the weight loss, and perhaps it wouldn't have happened without the weight loss, but I think a lot of her story is something that many people in their twenties can relate to as they grow up, gain some perspective, and grow more comfortable with themselves. 

As soon as I finished the book, I went online to google Jeanette to see how she is doing today.  She has a blog.  I learned that she has gained some of her weight back due to depression and chronic pain resulting from a headache that won't go away.  She has written a book about that as well.  My hope for her is that her pain goes away one day.  Half-Assed is funny and inspiring. 

I then read Battle Scars: My Journey from Obesity to Health and Happiness, Fifteen Years and Counting! by Stephen Cremen.  I found this one to be particularly compelling because Stephen has kept most of his weight off for such a long period of time.  Of the four I read, Stephen writes the most about emotional issues relating to his weight, and I think that his introspection is probably one the major keys to his success.  His coming out as a gay man and how keeping that part of himself secret contributed to his eating issues is an interesting part of his story as well.  It was a very enjoyable read and possibly the most inspirational of the four I read, simply because he's managed to be successful for so long.  At the time I bought the book, it was only $1.99 on Kindle--a great bargain! 

After that, I read 703: How I Lost More than a Quarter Ton and Gained a Life by Nancy Makin.  This was the strangest of all four memiors.  Nancy had a childhood that was complicated by a stay in a horriffic Canadian cult.  She became pregnant as a teenager, married the young man, and had a baby at the young age of 16.  Her relationship with her controlling mother was troubled.  She reached the massive weight of 703 pounds (at least) and was completely homebound, waiting to die.  She is vague on exactly how she managed to become that large.  Her method of weight loss was equally vague.  From what I could figure out, she had been eating enormous amounts of calories constantly, and after getting a computer with Internet, she forgot to eat as much.  Her book was the most painful to read--the other books I read were about young people with much more ordinary lives.  After googling her, I found pictures of a strikingly pretty woman, but I could find nothing recent.  I hope that she continues to lead a healthy lifestyle. 

This evening, I finished reading The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl by Shauna Reid.  Of all the books, I enjoyed this one the most, and I could relate to Shauna the most.  She lost half of her body weight as a young woman, like Jeanette Fulda.  She took six years to do so and made peace with her weight about 10 pounds above her original goal.  Also like Jeanette, Shauna's book grew out of her blog.  The book spans about six years of weight loss, begins in Australia, ends in Scotland, and includes a romance.  Shauna grows up a lot as the book progresses.  To me, this one was the most novel-like of all of the memoirs.  I highly recommend it.  Shauna has struggled with a bout of depression and weight gain, and I wish her the best as she takes control of her life again and works on becoming more athletic and eating in a healthy way. 

I think all of these books are worth reading if you're looking for weight loss inspiration, but Battle Scars and The Amazing Adventures of Dietgirl are the most worth reading, in my opinion. 

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Weekly Weigh-In

I did not have high expectations for this week.  I didn't exercise much towards the beginning of the week, due to getting over my cold.  I didn't do my strength training until Saturday, which tends to make me retain a little water.  My period is expected soon.  I ate too much popcorn at the movie theater yesterday.  (My husband and I took our kids to see brave, the first time we had gone to the movies as a family.  We had popcorn because we so rarely go to the movies, and it was a special treat.)  Otherwise, I've been doing okay, but felt especialy bad about the popcorn.  I know--I need to forgive myself about the popcorn and move on.  

Well, the scale, to my surprise, pronounced me 134.2 this morning, down almost half a pound from last week.  So, this week I'm going to work very hard and try and get on the other side of 134 for next week (I have seen the lovely 133's on the scale some mornings). Getting so close to the 120's again! 

One thing I learned from Thin for Life is that successful maintainers set reasonable goals.  Setting a goal of 10 pounds in a month for July was not a reasonable goal for a busy mother of 2 children who doesn't have very much weight to lose.  Sure, if I went to a weight loss camp and burned a ton of calories every day, I could do it, but it would be very difficult and time consuming for me to do that in conjunction with my responsibilities at home. Five pounds might have been a reasonable goal, but 3-4 is probably what I'm going to get. 

I'm not discouraged or sad that I'm not going to lose 10 pounds this month, and the idea of it did motivate me at the beginning of the month.  As much as I want to be at my goal, I have to remind myself that even when I'm "done" losing weight, I'm not going to be "done" ever.  I will have to watch my eating and exercise habits for the rest of my life.  And that's okay--most fit people do, and I can too. 

One great thing that has happened is that my jean shorts fit again.  Actually, they are too loose.  I have lost five pounds, apparently mostly off my waist, and I must have built up muscle over the months too.  In late spring, my shorts were unwearable because they were so tight.  Now I have inches to spare and really should retire them.  It's kind of confusing actually.  These are not shorts from when I was at my thinnest--they are from when I had put on some weight--I picked them up at a yard sale.  My other shorts are still a little snug, but I can wear them.  Hopefully, by the end of the summer, they will be really comfortable again. 

I got some new videos, one Biggest Loser, one Bob Harper, and one Jillian.  (Yes, I'm a fan of the show.)  I hope to review them in the coming weeks.  I'm only now feeling over my cold enough to do them.

Originally, had decided to tie my weight loss to my clothing budget and only buy clothes for myself when I had lost weight or maintained my goal weight.  I decided this was a bad idea for me.  I need to look nice no matter what my weight, so I have bought clothes that should continue to fit me at my goal weight.   When I reach my goal, however, I will get myself a refurbished iTouch.  I really want one! 

Overall, I'm pleased with my results today and planning on working very hard next week.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Book Review: Thin for Life

I just finished reading Thin for Life by Anne M. Fletcher.  Overall, I really enjoyed the book, and I recommend it to anyone wanting some encouragement about maintaining their weight loss. 

This book describes people who have maintained a weight loss, describes how they do it, and discusses why these people may not show up in studies.  There is so much negativity out there about how it's "impossible" to keep weight off.  This is contrary to my own experience and that of people I know.  According to the fat acceptance circles, you lose weight, and then you gain even more back, and continue a viscious cycle.  I've yo-yo'd a little over the past 9 years, but each time the string gets shorter.  My husband has kept about 40 pounds off fo the past 9 years.  He'd like to be 180, sometimes gets up to 200, and is generally about 190.  (He's a tall, broad-shouldered and devastatingly handsome man.) 

Anyway, this book is very encouraging.  There were several things that were particularly helpful to me.  The first was that it's okay not to be in love with the way you look in a bathing suit at your goal weight.  It's really okay.  I needed to hear that so badly.  When I got to my goal 2 years ago and didn't have that washboard stomach, I felt like I wasn't done, even though I was within my BMI range for my height, even though I had a healthy amount of muscle, and even though I felt great.  (The tummy didn't go away, by the way, when I continued past my goal.)  I will get to 125 and just keep doing cardio, strength, and work on my core, but I give myself permission to be happy with my weight even if I don't look like someone on TV or in a magazine.  (As my husband reminded me, even those people don't actually look like that.) 

Another thing that was interesting to read was that maintainers eat very similarly to how they ate while they were losing weight.  So, when I go to maintain, I've decided I should keep my calories the same, but have a glass of wine once a day, a sugar free coffee drink, or perhaps another small treat.  This is really helpful. 

Third, it's essential to have a "line in the sand."  I originally was gonig to make it 125, but I've decided to make it 127, although I may change my mind and lower it depending on how my weight loss goes.  If I get up to 127, I have to cut back a little on food, and step up my exercise.  This is so I don't end up with 15 extra pounds to lose, like I did this time.  This is what maintainers do, and what people who have never been overweight do.  They cut back or exercise more when they see the scale creeping up, or their clothes get tight. 

There are a lot more useful ideas in the book, but those were the ones that were particularly helpful to me.  The one thing I didn't like was the emphasis on low-fat eating.  For those of us with insulin resistence, I believe studies have shown that a low-carb approach can be more helpful.  It seems like recent research has shown some people do better with one approach or the other. 

Overall, this is a very useful and motivating book. 

Monday, July 9, 2012

Weekly Weigh-in

I weighed in yesterday at 134.6.  Hurray!  134.6!  That's the lowest point since February, when I was painfully charting my weight creeping up.  That's the good news.  The bad news is that I've been fighting a cold for the past few days, so haven't been able to exercise.  Many people can exercise through a cold, but I've found that it just makes me feel terrible, possibly because of my slight asthma.  Also, it's been about 100 degrees here every day, which is even more miserable when you have a cold.  I might have gone for a slow walk, but I think the 100 degrees on top of the

So, I watched about a million episodes of the Biggest Loser on Netflix this weekend.  Yesterday, that's basically all that I did.  It was great.  I would have rather been moving around, but a TV binge when you're sick is kind of nice.  It's nice that my kids are old enough where I can actually do that.  Especially since my husband was home and willing to take them away for a while.  I also find the Biggest Loser to be extremely motivating.  Right now I wish I could go to "Fitness Ridge" for 2-4 weeks and get rid of my extra pounds.  But, alas, I am not rich. 

I've also been reading a book called Thin For Life, which has also been motivational to me.  I'll try and post a review of it here when I'm finished. 

I'm very, very happy about breaking 135.  My next goal is to get into the 133's.  One step at a time.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Mid-week update

I've had a good week so far, since deciding to really "get serious" on July 1.  I have to admit that I only logged my calories the first day, and I've made a deal with myself that I will have to log calories if I can't control my eating.  This gets me to control it.  I HATE recording stuff like that.  I didn't like sparkpeople either.  If I do record calories, I'll have to get back into fitday or try another calorie counting page.  If you have any recommendations, please include them in the comments. 

I've been good about walking the dog in the mornings.  Unfortunately, we don't do more than 1-2 miles because of the heat.  I'm fine with the heat, but my Corgi isn't.  Dogs can't sweat.  He loves the cold though.  I have to be careful with him above 70 degrees and really careful with him above 80 degrees. 

On Monday,  I went to Zumba class at the YMCA.  It was fun.  I'm a terrible dancer, so I have trouble following the moves, but I just tried to keep moving.  I was happy when we did a dance that included jumping jacks--at least I can do those.  I was sore after the class.  On Tuesday, I went to yoga at the Y.  I was surprised to see that the teacher resembled Santa Claus, albeit thinner.  I enjoyed th class, although it wasn't much of a workout.  We spent at least 15 minutes in corpse pose.  But I felt a lot better aftewards. 

Today, in addition to our little walk, I did my strength exercises, and I did 45 minutes on my stationary bike.  I was also at the pool for a couple of hours, but that mostly consisted of floating with a noodle. 

My calorie intake has been good, probably around 1200-1400 a day, but more today, since we had some special holiday meals.  I've been trying to eat just enough to stave off hunger.  I'll just keeping trying. 

I'm considering going down to about 124 pounds (my official goal is 125) and making 127 the weight at which I start dieting again. I think that seems like a good range. 

I'm feeling good about myself.  The exercise makes me feel happy with my body.  It's a little thicker than I would prefer, but I like it.  The muscles on my legs and arms are obvious now.  I got a tan through my sunscreen, and I like being light brown. 

I realized that some of my lingerie fits again, and that makes me happy. 

I also wanted to buy a new swimsuit from Target, since my favorite one is from Target, and it fits nicely.  I thought it was a medium, so I was debating whether to buy a medium or small.  I looked at the tag on my suit, and it's a small.  I couldn't find one in the right size, sadly, but I am very glad that the small is fitting well again. 

Overall, a very good day--I'm feeling good enough that it's quite an effort to motivate myself to continue losing these pounds, but I know I'll be even gladder when they are gone. 

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Could I really finish this?

So, I counted my calories today and came up with a grand total of 1274.  Pretty good.  I may have a little bit of cheese before I go to bed to keep away the hunger and keep my blood sugar stable.  I also did a dance video and rode my exercise bike for 30 minutes.  I read some articles stating that there really isn't any health reason not to diet down to 1200 calories or so, and as short as I am, I think that's where I need to be.  When I weighed 155, I lost weight by dropping down to 2000 calories (while exercising).  I don't that that cuts it anymore, although I really don't know how much I've been eating lately.  It could have been that much or more. 

We went out to Panera for dinner, and I made choices that were several hundred calories less than my usual ones.  They did push me over my carb count for the day, sadly.  

It's possible I could drop these silly 10 pounds in a month and be done.  And actually work on maintaining, which is what this silly blog is supposed to be about.  I'm going to stick to my diet as well as possible.  Unfortunately, Friday is my husband's birthday, and he wants us to go to the Cheesecake Factory, which will result in us taking home either a whole cheesecake or individual cheesecakes.  I'll have to decide if I'm going to partake.  Also, all the entrees there are HUGE and delicious, another dilemna. 

Weekly Weigh-In

Weighed in at 136.8 today.  UGH.

The only thing left to do is what I should have been doing all along: count calories.  I'm going to try to stay below 1500 calories each day.  I also decided, rather arbitrarily, to stay below 60 carbs a day. 

I used to use Fitday to track my calories, but I couldn't log in to their site today, and they didn't instantly send me a link to reset my password, so I decided to try a site I haven't used before, SparkPeople

All I can say is that it SUCKS to lose weight when you don't have a lot to lose.  But it's still better than having a lot to lose.

I've been afraid to track my calories because I know I eat too much.  But why should I be afraid, when this will stop me from eating too much?  When I lost a lot of weight 2 years ago (went from about 160 to 120), I only tracked my calories at first.  After that, I got use to a lower caloric intake and was able to tell when I had eaten enough by how full I felt.  I hope that happens again.  I will need to continue to weigh myself after I reach my goal to see if I need to count calories again.

It is also possible that I will need to count calories for the rest of my life, if I want to maintain at my goal weight.  With today's technology, that shouldn't be a problem, although a smartphone sure would help.  Oh, well.